The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
