New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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