next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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