Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
