Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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