i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
