Christians are straight up FREAKS
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
