Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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