I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
