your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
