Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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