I'll bet she douches with gravy.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
