I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
