I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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