we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
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I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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