Someone shit on the floor
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I looked at my own cervix.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
