someone get that fucking seahorse.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I forgot wine drunk hurts
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
