super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
