Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
