oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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