just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
