Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
