i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We had sex on a dog bed..
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?