so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave