i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.