Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!