I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.