Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?