The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
