Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
