he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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