I look better un-naked...
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
