Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
