As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
