where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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