I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
