I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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