some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
