i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
He had one of those small greek statue penises
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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