Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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