On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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