if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
