Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
