Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize