my mouth tastes like poor choices
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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