My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
