Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
So squirting runs in the family.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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