Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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