nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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