HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
