So drunk its hurt
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
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in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
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Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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