Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
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I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
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Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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