I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
