i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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