ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just want to make out with him forever
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
