Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
