My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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