We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Alive.
So much puke
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
