Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
