Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I accidentally burped into my bong.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
