Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
