so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
so that wasnt chicken after all
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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